Speak for yourself
Ricky Gervais has been nominated for yet another gong for his brilliant monologue at last year’s Golden Globe Awards. I remember it well. When I woke up the morning after the event and turned on my laptop, social media had three little surprises for me. I’d lost another twitter follower, I’d been blocked by another Facebook ‘friend’ and Ricky Gervais had made headlines by offending half of the Hollywood Glitterati. It seemed Ricky and I were both out of favour.
But am I bothered by these online personal rebuffs? Honestly? Yes and no. It’s a shame that people feel the need to do this, but the issue is theirs and not mine. They had their reasons. And that’s fine. Some of my rebuffers have been strangers, some friends who I’d hoped better from. They each had a reason to cut me out of their virtual lives and I have no control over that. What I do have control over is my response to these displays of rejection and how I continue to conduct myself on social media.
I’m a nice person. I cry at films. I help old ladies. I’m a good mum. But I’m also intelligent, socially aware and have strong opinions. If you sit and watch The Sound of Music with me, you’ll see the side of me that’s quietly sobbing as a delicate Maria sings ‘Something Good’ to an attentive Georg. If you read my social media posts about Brexit, fox hunting or journalistic bias, you’ll see the side of me that gets angry about injustice, ignorance and the ugliness of human behaviour. And I don’t apologise for either.
I get annoyed about things that matter to me. I get annoyed when people are wrong. And on my own Twitter feed or Facebook page I reserve the right to speak out. We should all feel free to speak out without fear of retribution. If we see an injustice, we should speak out against it. If we see a lack of knowledge, we should educate. If we see a wrong, we should say or do whatever we need to, to try to right that wrong. And we should be humble enough to keep an open mind, to listen to others and to learn. That is how society grows. Debate is ultimately about coming together, not coming apart.
Some people just choose to be easily offended. Some have their own agenda and refuse to hear anything that doesn’t comply with their own point of view. The Brexit referendum, the anti-mask movement and the American election have all brought out so much hatred between different quarters of society, and so much bile has been directed at individuals in the street and online that I despair of the human race. The result has been that many people don’t feel able to speak their own truth for fear of being abused by haters. No one should live in fear of speaking out. No one should have to temper what they say to accommodate the frailties or prejudices of others. No one should have to censor themselves so as not to offend other people’s sensibilities. No one should have to limit themselves because of other people’s limitations. Block me if you like, unfriend me, unfollow me, but remember that makes you the one who wouldn’t listen.
As the audience groaned and sat uncomfortably in their seats during Ricky Gervais’s seven-minute opening monologue, he stood there with absolute conviction and responded to their dislike and disdain by saying ‘I don’t care. They’re only jokes. We’ll all be dead soon and there’s no sequel’. Exactly. They’re only words. Be offended if you want, but it’s such a waste of precious time.
I shall continue to conduct myself on social media in the same respectful, carefully crafted, reasonably well-thought-out way as I always have. I will have strong opinions. I will also post cute cat memes and fart gags. If you don’t like it, if you’re offended, simply scroll past. It’s much easier. If you do choose to block, unfriend or unfollow, that’s fine. Do what you need to do to make your life easier. Because, as Ricky Gervais says, ‘I don’t care.’